When is the right time for your teen to start dating?

As your teen enters high school, gets a driver’s license and passes other teenage milestones, you might ask yourself: When is the right time to allow my child to date? Parents often worry about their child’s first relationship or their child entering the world of dating, but romantic teen relationships occur.

Here’s expert advice to help prepare you and your child for dating and forming healthy relationships.

Is my teen ready for dating?

There’s no single “right” age for dating. While many families feel teens may be ready to begin dating around age 16, the right timing can vary based on a child’s maturity level, as well as a family’s values, culture and beliefs.

Today’s teens often begin dating at a later age than teens in years past due to academic pressures or other factors. Though you may think your child is old enough or emotionally ready to date, they may not be ready to take on the responsibilities of being in a relationship.

How can I help my teen have a healthy relationship?

Even before a teen starts dating, parents should have conversations about what behavior is appropriate on a date based on the teen’s culture, religion and family values.

During conversations, you may want to cover topics such as:

• Appropriate dating behaviors

• How to handle disagreements with partners

• How to respect another person’s boundaries

• How to communicate your feelings and needs clearly

• What physical behavior is appropriate and healthy – and why

It doesn’t have to be one long or formal talk, but it should be an ongoing conversation. These discussions can also build trust between you and your teen.

How can I talk to my child about healthy relationships?

Use media, like a news story or movie, as a jumping off point for a discussion. For instance, if your child watches a TV show that features a relationship, you can use that show to discuss what behavior is right or wrong in a relationship and why.

Bring the story up casually, asking your teen what they think about it as a way to start the discussion.

One of the most common missteps is avoiding the topic altogether. Even if your family isn’t ready for your teen to date, it’s helpful to explain your expectations and the reasons behind them. Taking time to talk and listen can help your teen understand your perspective and may reduce the chance of confusion or pushback.

How do I know if my child is in an unhealthy relationship?

Parents can watch out for signs of an unhealthy relationship in their teen. Parents should talk with teens about their relationships if they:

• Withdraw from activities with family or friends

• Stop participating in hobbies or activities they enjoy

• Seem more anxious or irritable

• Have to ask permission from their significant other to do something

• Constantly check in with their significant other

• Apologize frequently to their significant other

If you are worried your teen is in an unhealthy relationship, ask them if they are comfortable talking with you about the relationship and sharing with you how things are going. If your teen doesn’t want to talk to you about the relationship, they may be willing to talk to their pediatrician or an adolescent medicine physician that specializes in teen health.

What if my teen is not ready to date?

Many adolescents and teens are not comfortable with one-on-one dating and may be more comfortable in a group dating situation where multiple teens, both in and outside of couples, get together to go out.

Group dating is a way to ease into dating and gives kids an opportunity to hang out outside of school without any awkwardness of one-on-one dating.

If teens say they’re not ready, continue to have an open conversation with them about relationships. As they become more mature and confident in themselves, they will let you know when they are ready to start dating.

Learn more

Find out how Children’s Health adolescent medicine experts can help your teen stay healthy as they grow and develop into young adults.